Gaw blimey, love a duck and blow me daahn wiv a fevva! The brand new episode of Bullshit Bingo is brought to you in the mockney style, and I tell you what my love, seeing as the BSB team is feeling generous, you can have it for the knock-down price of twenty pence a paahnd!
Yes, Episode 21 sees us discuss which pearly queens we would like to “do the Lambeth Walk” with. For example
We also have a good old chin-wag over a cup of Gypsy Rose Lee about 80s films we think should be re-made, and which hot topics the twuts on Twotter should twit about (or something like that), including not-so-magic moments of TV racism like this one.
We even find time to discuss the All-Time Best Sex Scandals of All Time in the History of the World Ever, after this surprising on-screen confession from David Letterman, which just goes to show that The Larry Sanders Show had it right all along.
But we’ll leave you with our comedy moment of the, er, moment, namely the unparalleled genius of Danny Dyer, as discovered by a very observant James fan in the DVD extras for this already forgotten Brit gangster flick.
We didn’t really like Pam and it was a shitty party. Pam’s mum was beginning to panic and shouted, ‘Okay, everyone gather round for a magic trick!’ We moped into a semi-circle and Pam’s mum turned off all the lights. ‘Everyone ready?’ she asked, and with that, Pam’s mum flicked on the lights to reveal her glass eye and her empty eye socket. But you know, I learned something that day.
We’re back after our six-week summer holiday, and seeing as it’s practically 2010 already, we’ve decided to get ahead of the game by discussing the best (and baddest) bits of the Noughties.
So brace yourselves for our favourite TV shows – for example, this slice of documentary genius from Adam Curtis:
…our musical magic moments – for example, this slice of bastardisatio…er, I mean genius from Missy Elliot and Joy Division:
…and our political highs and lows – for example, this slice of reactionary rhetoric from George Bush (at least we think it’s George Bush…).
Last but not least, we couldn’t talk about anything – least of all the Noughties – without giving it an ILF, so with that in mind, feast your ears and eyes on this little lot (if the BSB team really are gentlemen – which is debatable – then we would appear to prefer brunettes):
A few years ago, the multi-national corporate behemoth that is Honda almost had a lawsuit on their hands. Their so-called ‘Cog’ TV advertisement bore a striking resemblance to this rather wonderful short film, although in the event, the matter never made it to court, and Honda’s plagiaristic publicity department got to surf on a wave of critical acclaim and industry awards, while directors Peter Fischli and David Weiss continued to languish in relative obscurity.
Cut to the summer of 2009, and the BSB team are sitting around in their trendy loft apartment, watching their 48″ HD-ready flat-screen TV and chowing down on vol-au-vents. Up pops a Land Rover ad that uses stop-motion animation to lay a paper trail of still photographs around a swish suburban home. ‘Hang on,’ think the BSB team, ‘we’ve seen something like this before!’ And sure enough, after a bit of Google jiggery-pokery, they find this rather wonderful short film from Japan (ironically enough, the home of Honda).
So, what do you reckon? Is the Land Rover ad an outright rip-off, or have they hired the same guy who made the wolf / pig film and paid him a top notch commercial director’s fee to recreate the magic of the original in TV ad form?
The BSB team will not rest easy on their expensive leather sofa until they know the truth…
Batten down the hatches, lock up your daughters and leave a note out for the milkman, because the new episode of Bullshit Bingo is available for your listening delectation!
This month sees us discuss the burning question at Wimbledon 2009, namely, which player has the fittest wife, Roger Federer or Andy Roddick?
In a similarly sporting vein, we also argue over who is or was the greatest British loser of all time, and aside from the obvious candidates, this man is an under-achiever of almost mythical proportions.
In fact, if you happen to know who the hell he is, can you drop us a line?
Other folks up for discussion include a certain now-deceased pop / R&B crossover artiste (no, not Luther Vandross), our fellow WordPress bloggers, the Overrated List, and the nearly-was boxing legend Herol Graham.
Listen, enjoy, tell your friends, listen again, inadvertently delete from your iTunes library, experience a network timeout during download, and while you’re at it, say hello to our new pals at Gutter London. New balls, please!
As an aside to Episode 18, this is what the BSB team watched a couple of weeks ago as a kind of comedy warm-up for the recording process. Even though we had no idea who Louis CK was until we saw it, we think it’s very funny indeed, and has a kind of zeitgeist-defining quality that sums up a lot of things about the modern world and Western society.
If you feel as philosophical (and perhaps pessimistic) about this kind of thing as we do, and you also don’t mind reading something that includes franky made-up words like ‘millenarianism’, you may also want to check this out.
This month sees BSB leave no stone un-turned and no stop un-pulled-out, as we sprinkle our satirical fairy dust over everyone from Guy Ritchie to Hazel Blears to people who forget to wave at us as they drive past in their BMW X5.
Among numerous (well, OK, four) topics of conversation, we discuss the advertisements that have made us tingle with consumer excitement, including this one from Coca Cola.
In addition, we want you to tell us why good manners have become a thing of the past (or, if you’re not as avid a reader of the Daily Mail as Sean, why good manners are alive and well and haven’t gone away at all). In order to start the ball rolling, here’s a site we discovered that conclusively proves how no one gives a damn any more about priority seating on public transport:
Normally, your 18th birthday means coming of age, taking on new responsibilities and setting new goals. For Bullshit Bingo, however, it means the complete opposite. If anything, the BSB team are even more stunted, immature and obsessed with the sex lives of minor celebrities than when we first started, and we need to make up for our intellectual shortcomings by asking you, our valued listeners, for your help with Episode 18.
Firstly, the history of politics is littered with z-list high-profile celebrities who wanted to liven up the parliamentary process. For example, these two unlikely candidates have recently expressed their desire to run for office:
We’re thinking they won’t exactly romp home with a huge majority, but if you could vote for anyone come the next election – yes, that’s anyone at all, folks! – who would it be, and why?
Secondly, the history of film-making is littered with great directors, from Cecil B.DeMille to D.W.Griffith to, er, McG, but let’s face it, one or two of them should have hung up their megaphones a good few years ago…
So, if you could quietly dispose of a famous film director – with a blunt instrument, for example, and before rolling their body up in a carpet and dumping it in a deserted lay-by – who would it be, and why? We’re not saying that we wish these guys had passed away in tragic circumstances several decades ago. Oh no. We’re just saying that if they had, the cinematic oeuvre would be mercifully free of some distinctly below-par films – like Jack, for example, or Revenge of the Sith – thus making the world a better place. Although not for their immediate friends and family. But anyway, you get the idea.
As usual, we’ll be bowled over with gratitude if you can give us your suggestions, and the best ones will be included in Episode 18 itself. Possibly. If we remember to mention them. Like I say, you get the idea.
Yes, this month, we discuss such diverse, wide-ranging, varied and, er, multifarious topics as the intrinsic link between these futuristic femmes-fatales:
Also also, this month, and for all subsequent months (unless we can persuade her to re-appear as a guest star), we shall sadly be without the diverse, wide-ranging, varied and…well, anyway, the many talents of our cohort in conversation, Andrea.
For some reason, Andrea has decided that international musical superstardom is more glamorous than sitting around a rickety table talking about who she’d like to get off with, so if you would like to help her along the way, please invest in her excellent new CD, which is currently shifting big units (if that doesn’t make her sound too much like Aussie Man & Van) in the Far East.
Finally, and as always, we have cunningly inserted a deliberate mistake into Episode 17. The first listener who manages to spot this will receive a hearty pat on the back and a year’s supply of Bullshit Bingo absolutely free – yes, that’s right, absolutely free! By way of a subtle hint, the mistake has something to do with this man:
Happy listening, and watch this space for more info about our glorious 18th birthday episode…
(PS. Don’t forget folks, instead of clicking on the above link, you can also subscribe to us via iTunes – simply guide your virtual avatar to the nearest iTunes store and do a search for ‘bullshit bingo’.)
Tartan flares, wingnut collars, platform shoes – and those were just the school uniforms.
Yes, we’ve all worn silly clothes at some point or another: mostly in the seventies, and mostly when we were too young to know better. But while last season’s must-have is often this season’s must-have-been-drunk-at-the-time, threads that we thought had gone out of fashion also have a habit of reappearing to – as they say – wow the catwalks.
So, in our next episode, the BSB team will be revealing our fashion disasters: times when we should at least have looked in the mirror before we walked out of the front door, or perhaps just thought twice before picking up that Argyle polo neck in the Fosters sale.
And we know that we’re not alone. We know that you, our beloved listeners, have also had some bad hat days, bad shirt days and possibly even bad hot pants days. So don’t be shy, sit on our collective BSB knee and tell us all about it. We promise we won’t laugh, and if we do, we’ll be laughing with you, not at you. Honest.
A trio of soon-to-be forty-something blokes sit around a table eating, drinking and playing online bingo making arbitrary lists about anything and everything.
We are: Sean, Tom and Eddie.
Together, we are: recording our innermost thoughts and our outermost opinions for your listening pleasure.
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