Gaw blimey, love a duck and blow me daahn wiv a fevva! The brand new episode of Bullshit Bingo is brought to you in the mockney style, and I tell you what my love, seeing as the BSB team is feeling generous, you can have it for the knock-down price of twenty pence a paahnd!
Yes, Episode 21 sees us discuss which pearly queens we would like to “do the Lambeth Walk” with. For example
We also have a good old chin-wag over a cup of Gypsy Rose Lee about 80s films we think should be re-made, and which hot topics the twuts on Twotter should twit about (or something like that), including not-so-magic moments of TV racism like this one.
We even find time to discuss the All-Time Best Sex Scandals of All Time in the History of the World Ever, after this surprising on-screen confession from David Letterman, which just goes to show that The Larry Sanders Show had it right all along.
But we’ll leave you with our comedy moment of the, er, moment, namely the unparalleled genius of Danny Dyer, as discovered by a very observant James fan in the DVD extras for this already forgotten Brit gangster flick.
We’re back after our six-week summer holiday, and seeing as it’s practically 2010 already, we’ve decided to get ahead of the game by discussing the best (and baddest) bits of the Noughties.
So brace yourselves for our favourite TV shows – for example, this slice of documentary genius from Adam Curtis:
…our musical magic moments – for example, this slice of bastardisatio…er, I mean genius from Missy Elliot and Joy Division:
…and our political highs and lows – for example, this slice of reactionary rhetoric from George Bush (at least we think it’s George Bush…).
Last but not least, we couldn’t talk about anything – least of all the Noughties – without giving it an ILF, so with that in mind, feast your ears and eyes on this little lot (if the BSB team really are gentlemen – which is debatable – then we would appear to prefer brunettes):
This month sees BSB leave no stone un-turned and no stop un-pulled-out, as we sprinkle our satirical fairy dust over everyone from Guy Ritchie to Hazel Blears to people who forget to wave at us as they drive past in their BMW X5.
Among numerous (well, OK, four) topics of conversation, we discuss the advertisements that have made us tingle with consumer excitement, including this one from Coca Cola.
In addition, we want you to tell us why good manners have become a thing of the past (or, if you’re not as avid a reader of the Daily Mail as Sean, why good manners are alive and well and haven’t gone away at all). In order to start the ball rolling, here’s a site we discovered that conclusively proves how no one gives a damn any more about priority seating on public transport:
Normally, your 18th birthday means coming of age, taking on new responsibilities and setting new goals. For Bullshit Bingo, however, it means the complete opposite. If anything, the BSB team are even more stunted, immature and obsessed with the sex lives of minor celebrities than when we first started, and we need to make up for our intellectual shortcomings by asking you, our valued listeners, for your help with Episode 18.
Firstly, the history of politics is littered with z-list high-profile celebrities who wanted to liven up the parliamentary process. For example, these two unlikely candidates have recently expressed their desire to run for office:
We’re thinking they won’t exactly romp home with a huge majority, but if you could vote for anyone come the next election – yes, that’s anyone at all, folks! – who would it be, and why?
Secondly, the history of film-making is littered with great directors, from Cecil B.DeMille to D.W.Griffith to, er, McG, but let’s face it, one or two of them should have hung up their megaphones a good few years ago…
So, if you could quietly dispose of a famous film director – with a blunt instrument, for example, and before rolling their body up in a carpet and dumping it in a deserted lay-by – who would it be, and why? We’re not saying that we wish these guys had passed away in tragic circumstances several decades ago. Oh no. We’re just saying that if they had, the cinematic oeuvre would be mercifully free of some distinctly below-par films – like Jack, for example, or Revenge of the Sith – thus making the world a better place. Although not for their immediate friends and family. But anyway, you get the idea.
As usual, we’ll be bowled over with gratitude if you can give us your suggestions, and the best ones will be included in Episode 18 itself. Possibly. If we remember to mention them. Like I say, you get the idea.
In Episode 16 of BSB, we got to talking about a well-known double act, whose personal lives have been almost as colourful as their wardrobe:
So, by way of a tenuous link, we thought it would be interesting to incorporate the twinset theme into our next episode – ie. which were the greatest double acts of all time?
Some people might say these two deserve to be crowned kings of the two-person pantheon:
Others would opt for a more heavyweight duo (or more comical, depending on your point of view):
As trusted listeners to BSB, what do you think? Which funny man / straight man or good cop / bad cop pairings have achieved true greatness in the long history of a couple of people doing stuff together?
You remember when last month we asked for your examples of corporate speak? We promised – promised, I tell you! – that Episode 16 of BSB would feature a lengthy, insightful and at the same time amusing discussion around the topic, but I’m afraid to say that we have let you down. We did talk about corporate speak over our usual bottle of wine, pasta-based evening meal and fancy dessert, but when it came to editing together Episode 16, for reasons of brevity, levity and, er, something else ending in ‘evity’, the item was consigned to the proverbial cutting room floor.
We feel so ashamed about this that we’ve decided to grant you two extra-special bonus items, namely the aforementioned corporate speak discussion, in glorious mono, with all jingles and stuff to make it sound more fancy, and a very long list of the latest in corporate bullshi…er, I mean management terminology, hot off the presses of the Local Government Association.
Across-the-piece – everyone working together
Actioned – do
Advocate – support
Agencies – groups
Ambassador – leader
Area based – in an area
Area focused – concentrating on the area
Autonomous – independent Read the rest of this entry »
Yes! We! Did! Record another episode of the podcast, that is.
A new year, a new dawn, and a new edition of the Bullshit Bingo podcast – bringing you Change You Can Believe In from around a table in a front room in Clapham. Well, it’s what Obama would want, isn’t it?
And we need your help again for next month. Please. Pretty please? We’d like to know which newsreaders do it for you – you know, sex-wise. Not delivering-the-story-well-wise – and also about your most hated management-speak. (If, indeed, you work in a Proper Office like Sean and Eddie, and actually come across management-speak. Tom and Andrea are creative slackers, so are more used to blogger-speak.)
Enjoy the podcast – no, please. Do – and leave your comments on this blog, or on the Book of Face, where we’ll shortly be setting up a fan page. Or whatever it is The Kids do these days. (Link to Facebook to follow shortly.)
But enough about you. Where were we when? And by when, we do of course mean: during earth-shatteringly important world events. Such as: Live Aid. Lennon being shot. Live Aid being shot. Lennon being on Live Aid. Etcetera.
In Episode 15, Andrea raves about being in Washington for Barack Obama’s inauguration, Tom reveals his childhood take on Charles and Diana’s wedding, Eddie reminisces about Nelson Mandela’s release from prison – he never did get that nail file back – and Sean… well, Sean was hit hard by this moment:
It’s the August podcast – and Tom’s missing. Has he been kidnapped by aliens? No, because that would be a conspiracy theory, and we don’t believe those.
Yes, we’re back – back! – and this month, we’re pontificating about the greatest ever film theme songs, the most believable conspiracy theories, the board games we used to know and love, and the athletes we know and would love to do.
Technical note: because Tom is our technical guru, Andrea and Sean had to learn how to record and edit this podcast using Fisher Price’s My First Podcasting Software – so it sounds ever-so-slightly different from our usual episodes. Hopefully, however, we still retain our charm.
A trio of soon-to-be forty-something blokes sit around a table eating, drinking and playing online bingo making arbitrary lists about anything and everything.
We are: Sean, Tom and Eddie.
Together, we are: recording our innermost thoughts and our outermost opinions for your listening pleasure.
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