Archive for the 'Current affairs' Category

Episode 24 – Celebrity meltdowns, fantasy cuts, Live Aid nostalgia and a coalition critique

29/07/2010

Here it is, the all singing, all dancing, all for charity Bullshit Bingo summer special!

First off, and in the manner of Mel Gibson, meltdown man par excellence, we discuss the celebrities who are wanted for crimes against fame and crimes against hairdressing.

Second off, we have some suggestions as to where the economic axe might fall – on this group of South London Sloane Rangers, for example.

Third off, we reminisce about that great day in 1985 when the whole world sang along in unison to Judas Prie…er, I mean Paul McCartn…er, I mean Adam Ant.

And last but not least, we tell you why a coalition government is such a positive step on the road to true democracy.

Also, an official apology is due to a certain Mr Usher, who to the best of our knowledge has never been involved in any kind of celebrity meltdown, particularly not at a certain fast food outlet in Paris, France. Pharrell Williams, on the other hand, wants to ask us if we know who he is…

Episode 23 – The Election Special – including a debate about the debate, and which wife we’d like to see in Number 10!

23/04/2010

Who is going to mend our broken politics? The BSB team, of course! Yes, having Sky Plus-ed the first prime-ministerial debate, we give it a vicious but at the same time balanced and impartial mauling, before touching on other election-related topics, such as which wife of a leader deserves an extra round of voting, and which policy gives us both the heebies, and indeed the jeebies.

Bullshit Bingo Episode 23

For want of a better visual representation of our latest episode, here are some snaps of the aforementioned leader’s wives (which is also a section in this month’s issue of Razzle, as far as we know…) to help you decide which one is the great woman behind an average man.

And in case you fancy working out which party you should really vote for, pop over to this little site, which cunningly disguises the parties behind their policies.

voteforpolicies.org.uk

As always, give us your thoughts, leave us your comments, and remember to vote BSB on 6th May!

Episode 22 – mellifluous voices, seminal music videos and countries that will scare the bejeezus out of you!

19/01/2010

Hello, happy New Year and how ya diddlin? As a new decade dawns, Episode 22 of Bullshit Bingo is here to sooth your ear drums, tickle your fancy and quite possibly raise your hackles as well.

Bullshit Bingo Episode 22

Zeitgeist-defining discussions this month include

Which voices get us hot under the headphones!

Which music videos should you watch before they die!

Who should take Simon Cowell’s place – and quite possibly his hairstyle – on X-Factor!

And where will the BSB team definitely not be going on holiday this year!

Listen, enjoy, feel like fondling one of our voices because they’re so damn fondle-able, and we hope that your New Year’s resolutions come true!*

(*Apart from that one about Mariella Frostrup, Sean, which is filthy, disgusting and quite possibly illegal.)

Episode 21 – Mockneys, cockneys, 80s remakes, 90s sex scandals and the BBC goes KKK!

13/11/2009

Gaw blimey, love a duck and blow me daahn wiv a fevva! The brand new episode of Bullshit Bingo is brought to you in the mockney style, and I tell you what my love, seeing as the BSB team is feeling generous, you can have it for the knock-down price of twenty pence a paahnd!

Bullshit Bingo Episode 21

Yes, Episode 21 sees us discuss which pearly queens we would like to “do the Lambeth Walk” with. For example

Martine McCutcheon

Wendy Richard

Joss Stone

We also have a good old chin-wag over a cup of Gypsy Rose Lee about 80s films we think should be re-made, and which hot topics the twuts on Twotter should twit about (or something like that), including not-so-magic moments of TV racism like this one.

We even find time to discuss the All-Time Best Sex Scandals of All Time in the History of the World Ever, after this surprising on-screen confession from David Letterman, which just goes to show that The Larry Sanders Show had it right all along.

But we’ll leave you with our comedy moment of the, er, moment, namely the unparalleled genius of Danny Dyer, as discovered by a very observant James fan in the DVD extras for this already forgotten Brit gangster flick.

Episode 20 – From music to movies, news to NILFs – it’s the best (and worst) of the Noughties!

24/09/2009

We’re back after our six-week summer holiday, and seeing as it’s practically 2010 already, we’ve decided to get ahead of the game by discussing the best (and baddest) bits of the Noughties.

***Click here to listen to Bullshit Bingo Episode 20!***

So brace yourselves for our favourite TV shows – for example, this slice of documentary genius from Adam Curtis:

…our musical magic moments – for example, this slice of bastardisatio…er, I mean genius from Missy Elliot and Joy Division:

…and our political highs and lows – for example, this slice of reactionary rhetoric from George Bush (at least we think it’s George Bush…).

Last but not least, we couldn’t talk about anything – least of all the Noughties – without giving it an ILF, so with that in mind, feast your ears and eyes on this little lot (if the BSB team really are gentlemen – which is debatable – then we would appear to prefer brunettes):

Audrey Tatou

Brooke Burke

Teri Hatcher

Episode 18 – Arousing adverts, disappearing manners and why even Joanna Lumley should fiddle her expenses!

22/06/2009

This month sees BSB leave no stone un-turned and no stop un-pulled-out, as we sprinkle our satirical fairy dust over everyone from Guy Ritchie to Hazel Blears to people who forget to wave at us as they drive past in their BMW X5.

*** Click here for Bullshit Bingo Episode 18! ***

Among numerous (well, OK, four) topics of conversation, we discuss the advertisements that have made us tingle with consumer excitement, including this one from Coca Cola.

This one from the, er, Coca Cola Corporation.

And this one from the Birds Eye Corporation.

Not to mention a comedy routine from the late, great Bill Hicks about – whadda ya know? – the Coca Cola Corporation.

In addition, we want you to tell us why good manners have become a thing of the past (or, if you’re not as avid a reader of the Daily Mail as Sean, why good manners are alive and well and haven’t gone away at all). In order to start the ball rolling, here’s a site we discovered that conclusively proves how no one gives a damn any more about priority seating on public transport:

peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com

As a polite American waiter, waitress or bartender might say: Enjoy, and have a nice day!

Fantasy politicians and dead directors – the warm-up begins for our 18th birthday!

09/06/2009

Normally, your 18th birthday means coming of age, taking on new responsibilities and setting new goals. For Bullshit Bingo, however, it means the complete opposite. If anything, the BSB team are even more stunted, immature and obsessed with the sex lives of minor celebrities than when we first started, and we need to make up for our intellectual shortcomings by asking you, our valued listeners, for your help with Episode 18.

Firstly, the history of politics is littered with z-list high-profile celebrities who wanted to liven up the parliamentary process. For example, these two unlikely candidates have recently expressed their desire to run for office:

Esther Rantzen

Krist Novoselic

We’re thinking they won’t exactly romp home with a huge majority, but if you could vote for anyone come the next election – yes, that’s anyone at all, folks! – who would it be, and why?

Secondly, the history of film-making is littered with great directors, from Cecil B.DeMille to D.W.Griffith to, er, McG, but let’s face it, one or two of them should have hung up their megaphones a good few years ago…

George Lucas

Francis Ford Coppola

So, if you could quietly dispose of a famous film director – with a blunt instrument, for example, and before rolling their body up in a carpet and dumping it in a deserted lay-by – who would it be, and why? We’re not saying that we wish these guys had passed away in tragic circumstances several decades ago. Oh no. We’re just saying that if they had, the cinematic oeuvre would be mercifully free of some distinctly below-par films – like Jack, for example, or Revenge of the Sith – thus making the world a better place. Although not for their immediate friends and family. But anyway, you get the idea.

As usual, we’ll be bowled over with gratitude if you can give us your suggestions, and the best ones will be included in Episode 18 itself. Possibly. If we remember to mention them. Like I say, you get the idea.

Episode 17 – Sci-fi sexiness, global pandemics, fantasy interviews and, er, Cannon and Ball!

11/05/2009

Having taken a short sabbatical at our Buddhist meditation retreat in the Nepalese mountains, we’re back with the all-singing, all-dancing, all-new…

<<< BULLSHIT BINGO EPISODE 17! >>>

Yes, this month, we discuss such diverse, wide-ranging, varied and, er, multifarious topics as the intrinsic link between these futuristic femmes-fatales:

Erin Gray

Carrie Fisher

Sigourney Weaver

Also, there’s Formula 1, Howard Hughes, TV partnerships we have known and loved, Mexican swine flu, whether or not Oprah Winfrey is still eating fast food, Sean as a 16 year old, Tom in his slip-ons, and Eddie stealing fast food from a small child (possibly).

Also also, this month, and for all subsequent months (unless we can persuade her to re-appear as a guest star), we shall sadly be without the diverse, wide-ranging, varied and…well, anyway, the many talents of our cohort in conversation, Andrea.

For some reason, Andrea has decided that international musical superstardom is more glamorous than sitting around a rickety table talking about who she’d like to get off with, so if you would like to help her along the way, please invest in her excellent new CD, which is currently shifting big units (if that doesn’t make her sound too much like Aussie Man & Van) in the Far East.

Finally, and as always, we have cunningly inserted a deliberate mistake into Episode 17. The first listener who manages to spot this will receive a hearty pat on the back and a year’s supply of Bullshit Bingo absolutely free – yes, that’s right, absolutely free! By way of a subtle hint, the mistake has something to do with this man:

JDSalinger

Happy listening, and watch this space for more info about our glorious 18th birthday episode…

(PS. Don’t forget folks, instead of clicking on the above link, you can also subscribe to us via iTunes – simply guide your virtual avatar to the nearest iTunes store  and do a search for ‘bullshit bingo’.)

Double acts we have known and loved (or possibly loathed)

20/03/2009

In Episode 16 of BSB, we got to talking about a well-known double act, whose personal lives have been almost as colourful as their wardrobe:

richardjudypa_468x417

So, by way of a tenuous link, we thought it would be interesting to incorporate the twinset theme into our next episode – ie. which were the greatest double acts of all time?

Some people might say these two deserve to be crowned kings of the two-person pantheon:

467

Others would opt for a more heavyweight duo (or more comical, depending on your point of view):

bush-cheney

As trusted listeners to BSB, what do you think? Which funny man / straight man or good cop / bad cop pairings have achieved true greatness in the long history of a couple of people doing stuff together?

Corporate speak – an apology and a bonus or two

18/03/2009

You remember when last month we asked for your examples of corporate speak? We promised – promised, I tell you! – that Episode 16 of BSB would feature a lengthy, insightful and at the same time amusing discussion around the topic, but I’m afraid to say that we have let you down. We did talk about corporate speak over our usual bottle of wine, pasta-based evening meal and fancy dessert, but when it came to editing together Episode 16, for reasons of brevity, levity and, er, something else ending in ‘evity’, the item was consigned to the proverbial cutting room floor.

We feel so ashamed about this that we’ve decided to grant you two extra-special bonus items, namely the aforementioned corporate speak discussion, in glorious mono, with all jingles and stuff to make it sound more fancy, and a very long list of the latest in corporate bullshi…er, I mean management terminology, hot off the presses of the Local Government Association.

Click, listen, read and enjoy:

*The BSB Bonus – Corporate Speak!*

WORDS AND THEIR ALTERNATIVES

Across-the-piece – everyone working together
Actioned – do
Advocate – support
Agencies – groups
Ambassador – leader
Area based – in an area
Area focused – concentrating on the area
Autonomous – independent
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